For the Bunnies


It's the bunnies, stupid.

Some context: The president of Mount St. Mary’s University, Simon Newman, had a great idea to improve retention numbers: determine which students were most likely to struggle by having them fill out a survey that included questions about whether students  were depressed or had a learning disability.  Then help them to do better encourage them to drop out before they are added to enrollment numbers.

He helpfully explained, “This is hard for you because you think of the students as cuddly bunnies, but you can’t. You just have to drown the bunnies … put a Glock to their heads.”

Two faculty members who objected were fired for disloyalty. Fortunately, the faculty were eventually unfired, and Newman stepped down after questions from the accreditation agency.